How To Keep Your Spirits Up When You’re Worried Your Partner May Lose His Job
The talk around finances can often be an emotional challenge in any relationship and this can become even more challenging when one partner is facing being laid-off. The emotional cycle that comes with it can be life altering and serious. When you are worried about the sole breadwinner’s job loss, it becomes a frustration that can be nerve wrecking and hard for you to keep your spirits up if not handled wisely.
Stay focused on the solution rather than the problem
While it is normal to go through the emotional journey, it is very important to remember that you may be his only support during such a hard time. Therefore, you need to prepare adequately to ensure that your home is not swept by a feeling of hopelessness. The smarter and quicker you are at coming up with a plan, the more smooth the transition will be.
Here are a few things you can do.
1. Join a Support Group
There are others who may be facing the same worries and concerns of subsequent unemployment of their partners. It is understandable that it can be overwhelming to one person, so it is important to share your thoughts and fears with people who are going through the same things you are.
Groups like ‘Women supporting partners working long hours or away‘ allows you to share your challenges to supporting each other emotionally. Support groups have been known to do wonders for people in tough situations.
2. Stay Calm
Being calm not only allows you to keep your spirits up but also allows you to maintain clear thinking through the pressures of an impending redundancy. One of the most destructive things is to spin off the anxiety spiral and lack the much needed clarity and focus. Instead of panicking, start thinking of ways you can cope with the layoff, and alternative ways both you and your husband can cater to the family needs.
3. Start Planning Your Finances
It goes without saying that one of the things that causes panic attacks and anxiety when facing a layoff is the impending financial woes. Start preparing the family early enough so that they will be ready to cope with the changes should your husband lose his job.
You can start by slashing unnecessary spending and start on an emergency fund, if you do not have one already. Take out cash from unnecessary expenditure budgets such as holiday spending, frequent babysitting expenditure, payments on the extra car and clothes shopping. Divert the cash to the emergency fund. It is also advisable to cut down on your credit card use. Make sure you write down a realistic budget of all the necessary expenditure and resist the temptation to do impulse buying. Need a spreadsheet? Look no further. To help you on your way you can download a simple budget-planner here
The other important thing that comes with cutting on expenses is getting additional income. If you are a stay at home mom and have your parents or other relatives who can watch the children for you, you could take an evening or weekend job or even consider a network marketing group that will fit in with child/ren school times. You can also talk to other mums who are in the same situation and come up with a timetable where you watch each others children in turns. Going back to work can also keep your spirits up as it gives you something else to focus on for the short time you are away from the household.
4. Accept the Situation
Change is not always bad, even if at first it pinches. It may turn your world upside down, but how you react to it could be the difference between making it and falling apart. While it is common to blame everyone and everything from the boss to the country and the economy, you can decide to take the high road and accept that it may be a blessing in disguise.
It is important to accept that sometimes you cannot change anything, whether you worry and blame and become bitter. Remember that the job does not in any way reduce the personal worth of your spouse either. It is at this time that you should work together as a team to find a solution.
Sit down with your spouse and talk out your options should the lay-off happen. If you have your partner working away, you can communicate through telephone or Skype. It is unwise to compare your situation with that of others as it may lead to resentment. Instead, get financial advice, keep your spirits up, polish up the CVs and start applying for other jobs or consider starting businesses and taking advantage of online employment opportunities.
Regardless of what happens remember you are in this together. Be supportive, and if need be, enroll the services of a professional to offer extra support. Remember that change comes to everyone and you can make the most out of every situation by staying focused on the solution rather than the problem.