How To Keep Your Spirits Up When You’re Worried Your Partner May Lose His Job

The talk around finances can often be an emotional challenge in any relationship and this can become even more challenging when one partner is facing being laid-off. The emotional cycle that comes with it can be life altering and serious. When you are worried about the sole breadwinner’s job loss, it becomes a frustration that can be nerve wrecking and hard for you to keep your spirits up if not handled wisely.

Stay focused on the solution rather than the problem

While it is normal to go through the emotional journey, it is very important to remember that you may be his only support during such a hard time. Therefore, you need to prepare adequately to ensure that your home is not swept by a feeling of hopelessness. The smarter and quicker you are at coming up with a plan, the more smooth the transition will be.

Here are a few things you can do.

1. Join a Support Group

Keeping Spirits Up
Keeping Your Spirits Up

There are others who may be facing the same worries and concerns of subsequent unemployment of their partners. It is understandable that it can be overwhelming to one person, so it is important to share your thoughts and fears with people who are going through the same things you are.

Groups like  ‘Women supporting partners working long hours or away‘ allows you to share your challenges to supporting each other emotionally. Support groups have been known to do wonders for people in tough situations.

2. Stay Calm

Being calm not only allows you to keep your spirits up but also allows you to maintain clear thinking through the pressures of an impending redundancy. One of the most destructive things is to spin off the anxiety spiral and lack the much needed clarity and focus. Instead of panicking, start thinking of ways you can cope with the layoff, and alternative ways both you and your husband can cater to the family needs.

3. Start Planning Your Finances

It goes without saying that one of the things that causes panic attacks and anxiety when facing a layoff is the impending financial woes. Start preparing the family early enough so that they will be ready to cope with the changes should your husband lose his job.

You can start by slashing unnecessary spending and start on an emergency fund, if you do not have one already. Take out cash from unnecessary expenditure budgets such as holiday spending, frequent babysitting expenditure, payments on the extra car and clothes shopping. Divert the cash to the emergency fund. It is also advisable to cut down on your credit card use. Make sure you write down a realistic budget of all the necessary expenditure and resist the temptation to do impulse buying. Need a spreadsheet? Look no further. To help you on your way you can download a simple budget-planner here Budget-Planner

The other important thing that comes with cutting on expenses is getting additional income. If you are a stay at home mom and have your parents or other relatives who can watch the children for you, you could take an evening or weekend job or even consider a network marketing group that will fit in with child/ren school times. You can also talk to other mums who are in the same situation and come up with a timetable where you watch each others children in turns.  Going back to work can also keep your spirits up as it gives you something else to focus on for the short time you are away from the household.

4. Accept the Situation

Change is not always bad, even if at first it pinches. It may turn your world upside down, but how you react to it could be the difference between making it and falling apart. While it is common to blame everyone and everything from the boss to the country and the economy, you can decide to take the high road and accept that it may be a blessing in disguise.

It is important to accept that sometimes you cannot change anything, whether you worry and blame and become bitter. Remember that the job does not in any way reduce the personal worth of your spouse either. It is at this time that you should work together as a team to find a solution.

Sit down with your spouse and talk out your options should the lay-off happen. If you have your partner working away, you can communicate through telephone or Skype. It is unwise to compare your situation with that of others as it may lead to resentment. Instead, get financial advice, keep your spirits up, polish up the CVs and start applying for other jobs or consider starting businesses and taking advantage of online employment opportunities.

Regardless of what happens remember you are in this together. Be supportive, and if need be, enroll the services of a professional to offer extra support. Remember that change comes to everyone and you can make the most out of every situation by staying focused on the solution rather than the problem.

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Keeping_Your_Energy_High

Keeping Your Energy High When Times Get Tough

As women we can be quite sentimental creatures. The main reason we get into a relationship or marriage is for the simple reason that we want to have a deeper connection with someone special who can provide us companionship and love. When this special someone is required to work in a different country or has to travel away more than they are at home, such as those of the military, mining, salesperson, etc., this can prove to be very difficult in Keeping Your Energy High When Times Get Tough and can affect our energy levels for even the simplest of tasks.

So how do we as woman keep our energy high during this time?

With the work load piled up on top of you exhaustion can set in and you can feel emotionally and physically drained… and maybe even depressed.

As a wife/partner to someone who works away, you have to handle everything alone at home while they are away and there can be some tough situations for you to go through. With the work load piled up on top of you exhaustion can set in and you can feel emotionally and physically drained… and maybe even depressed.

Keeping_Your_Energy_High
Keeping Your Energy High

Here are few things that you can do in order to keep motivated.

1.    Look for a hobby or something to do.  This could be the ideal time to go back to school, to establish that home business you’ve always wanted to or even to learn how to do an Eco-friendly garden.  The choices are abundant and by finding something for you personally to do will motivate you to achieve more.

2.    Acceptance. Accept the situation you’re in and then take whatever steps you need to do to get out of feeling low. We cannot deal with what we don’t accept. Control what you can, and let go of what you cannot. Instead of blaming yourself or someone else for the situation you are in, be open to the bright side and believe that all the challenges we face are for a reason, and every problem carries a vital lesson inside it.

3.    Look for other women who are going through the same thing and start a support group. By talking to others experiencing what you are going through can help you appreciate that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to face the challenges by yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable in a support group, there is always the option to talk with a Life Coach who has been there before.

4.    Look for fun activities to take up for yourself and those that you can enjoy with the children. This is a great way to also help your child/ren with the situation so that they don’t feel like they are missing out. For example bike riding in the park, picnic on the beach, playing cards or a board games, etc. Any game that induces laughter and plenty of it will bring the energy levels higher for you and your child/ren.

5.    Create some alone time for you. It is daunting task keeping everything in check when your spouse is away. Lest you want to suffer from burn out, it always good to make some ‘mummy time’ for yourself where you can just relax and be with your thoughts without having to worry about anything.  Meditate, take a long soak in the bath or read a good book without being disturbed will also sparkle the fire to get motivated again.

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4 Simple Tips How To Cope With Loneliness When Your Partner Is Absent

When you are in a relationship and concerned about someone deeply, the most dreadful thing you can encounter is being alienated from them. If your partner is in a profession that needs them to be missing from you, and you are having to exist without your partner for a substantial period of time, then this can be unbearable leaving you with a sense of loneliness. Do not authorize the absence of your partner to put you in an undesirable place. Instead, learn the way to live with your partner being absent until the next time you are with each another once again. This can be a challenging task that can take some time to perfect.

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty – Mother Teresa

If this is you, then you are among many women who are in search of the answer, “How to deal with loneliness when your partner is absent”

Here are four tips for you to follow which can assist to remove any bad feelings of loneliness during the time of absence from your partner.

Acceptance

Being home alone even though it undeniably feels like it is, it is not the end of the world. Acknowledge that this unwanted reality as something that you cannot change.

It is not possible to follow your partner, so there is no point dwelling on something that is out of your control. All you can accomplish is, accepting the cards that you and your partner have been dealt with.

Give yourself time, making the best of what is, and do not think automatically that your relationship is ended just for the reason that there is distance between you and your partner. Relationships have been recognized to build up an innovative sense of understanding after being separated, as each second you have together is treasured all the more.

Stumble on a new hobby

It is better to keep yourself busy by finding a new hobby. This is because it prevents you from thinking more about the absence, which will lead you to the feeling of loneliness and could trigger emotions like aggravation and anger.

The more time of each day that is filled with some activity, making you preoccupied, the less probable you are to sit before the television, drowning in your sorrows.

Beat loneliness with friends
Beat loneliness with friends

Socialize, Socialize, and Socialize

There is no such thing as loneliness when you have friends, family, neighbours, and colleagues. One of the most effective methods to deal with your self-indulged loneliness is to hang out and socialize with friends. There could not be a claim such as having no friends.

Think and rethink, maybe it is a time for some re-union gathering. An old high school friend or some college friend you have lost contact with along the passing years. Try to find and contact them. Arrange some entertainment lunch or Sunday dinner to re-unite and commemorate. Socialize and fight with your loneliness.

Do not allow your mind to get the better of you

When you are missing from your partner, particularly when you are incapable of getting in touch with them, your mind can take part in tricks on you with suppositions of where your partner is, with whom your partner is, and what your partner is doing. Do not heed your insecurities because they will only show the way to pressure and sorrow of which is usually unjustified.

If your partner really takes care of you, then they are anticipating their arrival as much as you yourself are. To encourage yourself otherwise will just make you insane. Trust is the answer to a thriving long distance bond.

By no means, being separated from each other is easy, but for those who are dedicated, there is nothing more encouraging than the trust that distance makes the mind cultivate fonder. You might not have your treasured one in your arms now, but that is why the future is worth waiting for.

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Why You Should Have Written Goals……..!

Whether it’s the start of the New Year or you’ve been asked to be the matron of honour at your best friend’s wedding. It seems everyone is talking about goals……

So how important are Goals and do they work?

Goal - Lose weight
Goal – Lose weight

Let’s look at someone that wants to lose weight and commits to going to the gym. Excellent in making a decision, but now what?

So why are they there and what is it they want to achieve?
Most times we know we want to lose weight or should lose weight. But without some kind of goal to aim towards how do we know when we have hit our target?
More importantly when do we celebrate that we have made it?

Some people go after goals and they’re not sure as to why. Your WHY needs to be big enough and passionate enough for you to achieve your goal. By putting down as many reasons as to why you want to achieve each goal allows your brain to understand your why’s it is important to you and therefore it is more likely to happen.

Here are a few reasons why we should have goals:-
1. As human beings we need to feel like we are contributing to those around us. We don’t like to feel unwanted or be of no value to others. Self-worth is important to ‘fitting in’ with society and those important to us. We feel the need to measure ourselves by comparing ourselves to others, so we look at what we have achieved. By having goals we can see our achievements or what we are aiming to achieve. So technically we are building our self-confidence based on measured achievement of goals.

2. Most of us like to do the things important to us but a lot of the times we fumble around aimless completing tasks with little to no satisfaction. We follow other people, living out their goals and dreams, hoping this will fill the empty void and give us a sense of contentment. One day it all becomes too much and we feel lost at how to resolve the current situation. If we write our goals down we can separate what is important from what is irrelevant, giving us our purpose to live.

3. “A new job would be exciting!” We have all thought this at some stage in our working history so why don’t we take whatever is on offer? It would be a change from what we have been doing and take the boredom out for a short time. But we know this will not satisfy us in the long term. Most of us have an idea of what we need to provide for our lifestyle and families but so often we forget about our personal needs, our mental needs. For this reason we should write our goals down giving us the advantage of knowing exactly what we want and what is important to achieve in our life so we can focus and go after it at full steam.

4. Having motivation to do something can be quite hard and we will often put things off because we don’t or can’t see the big picture. If we are working in a team environment, which includes the family hub, motivating everyone to be on the same page is challenging. By having written goals that everyone has contributed too, will create motivation from everyone to give their best to achieve those goals – creating bonding and a winning team. It gives you long-term vision and it focuses your acquisition of knowledge and helps you to organise your resources. When we know what we are working towards it is easier to become motivated to achieving them, as an individual, family member or a team player.

Did you know that by sharing your goals with a supportive colleague, friend, partner or coach increases the chance of success?

“A goal is no longer a dream or wish when it is in writing with a clear plan!”

Extensive studies have shown us that writing down our goals and how to reach them gives us a far greater chance of achieving them than those people who don’t write them down and by sharing your goals and sending regular progress reports to your enlisted friends the success rate is closer to 75%. (http://www.dominican.edu/dominicannews/study-backs-up-strategies-for-achieving-goals )

Goals need passion and energy behind them for them to manifest. It is important to stretch your mind and set NO limitations when you are setting goals and you should feel a sense of passion with your goals. If there is no passion with your goal you need to ask yourself, ‘is this my goal or someone else’s goal?’ Having a goal written down that is for someone else will not get you excited and there will not manifest. Remember to allow yourself the chance to enjoy the achievement of goals and reward yourself appropriately.

“Celebration & recognition when you have achieved your goal is an important element in any goal setting equation.”

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Building Your Self-esteem

People having high self-esteem consider themselves as strong, satisfactory and worthy of a good life. While low self-esteem makes you feel you are not good enough and unworthy of anything good in your life causing pain and unhappiness in almost everything you do.

‘Self-esteem’ Is what you feel about yourself as a person

Low Self-esteem
Low Self-esteem

Different people have different criteria to base their self-esteem. Some consider themselves unworthy if they have less money and some judge it based on how much people like or appreciate them. If any single criteria changes, self-esteem is affected.

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

Depression or anxiety can be a result of low self-esteem. If it is difficult for you to get control of your emotions, it is important for you to learn ways to manage your mood and gain control on emotions.

Here are some tips for you to continue to build your self-esteem:

 

1. Remember that no one is perfect, even the most confident people have insecurities. Everyone is good at something so give yourself credit for your successes and the permission to be proud of your achievements. Sometimes due to insecurity and lack of confidence we underestimate ourselves so it is important to recognize your insecurities as the first step to finding ways to overcome them.

2. Accept compliments gracefully and respond positively – “Thank you” and a smile works well. This encourages other compliments to come your way. Avoid self-pity, or pity and sympathy of others as this does not re-enforce positive behavior and keep you from feeling confident. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals. The world is not perfect so why should you be?

3. Your power is the power you hold! Imagine yourself as a successful and confident personality. Imagine you are self-assured and an aspiring person. Change your perspective about yourself to help yourself feel the power of who you are. Do this every morning for ten minutes and you will see the magic work. If music soothes you, play it in the background to calm yourself.

4. Read something inspirational, listen to something empowering, and talk to someone who can uplift your spirits. Allow 20 minutes of each day to do at least one of these and you will notice the difference it makes to your life and your thoughts of yourself. We can make time when something is important to us so make this important in your life and reap the reward to building self-confidence.

5. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Low self-esteem can stem from the feeling of being inferior. It is up to you as to how others make you feel so never allow others to make you feel inferior. Who said everyone else’s life is better and more important than yours? You are worthy so reminding yourself regularly that you are worthy and put yourself up there with everyone else.
Self-esteem-1

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, and people who lack it can find it difficult to become successful. As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, without too much pressure, you will find your self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem grow and one day you will wake up amazed at how far you have come.

Establish yourself in what you know best – become a master and boost your self-esteem. Each minute of your life can make an impact and alter your life for the better.

Would you like a helping hand to build your self-esteem? Click Here and let me help you!

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